Came but for friendship and took away love
by blue-eyed-wanderer
Summary: Forgiveness breaks the chain of causality because she who forgives you out of love takes upon herself the consequences of what you have done. Forgiveness, therefore, always entails a sacrifice.
1. Default Chapter

In the crowded room,  
  
surrounded by friends i feel empty.  
  
All that was good in me has gone,  
  
faded in darkness  
  
like the light in my eyes when you left.  
  
You told me that in your whole life,  
  
you have never loved anything else.  
  
But then why did you leave?  
  
Was the love that was shared,  
  
not as strong as i believed?   
  
Was the nights that we shared,  
  
not as special to you as they were to me?  
  
Do you feel torn as i do?  
  
Do you feel lonely?  
  
Can you breath?  
  
Can you sleep?  
  
Does your heart beat?  
  
Cause without you i feel nothing,  
  
without you i am nothing. 


	2. returned to the shadows

Hey, this is just like a little ficlet on Draco's feelings after kissing Hermione i hope you liked it.   
  
He tossed and turned beneath the green covers his eyes tightly shut hinting for sleep to take over. So he could forget the event that happend earlier that evening, he wiped his mouth with his sleve for what seemed the hundreth time trying to remove the taste and the feel of her lips upon his, trying to wipe the memory away. He sighed loudly, impatiently this was him who never let anything like this normally bother him. "Curse her" he mumbled, turning over onto his side his eyes now open, his eyes somehow seemed brighter as the moon shone down on him through the window bathing him in its glowing light.  
  
He moved out of the light back into the shadows that had been his shelter, his some form of comfort all his life. For his life belonged in the shadows as her life belonged in the light two different contrasts that had never meant to be blended. Of course it was not his fault she must of enticed him somehow, enticed him out of the shadows and into the light made him taste what freedom that staying there could bring him the pressure and weight lifted off his shoulders. But like a ghost he had sinked back into the caped darkness, the life he had felt sucked back out of him when he had turned away from her walking back into his world where she could not, would not follow.  
  
He listened to the snores from the other beds that had found sleep when he could not, he glared over at Crabbe sleeping peacefully his thumb in his mouth which the oaf subconsciously unaware of. Oh how he would torture Crabbe about it in the morning the big baby, he smirked thinking of the insults he could throw at him and then scowled as his mind wandered back to her "Bloody Mudblood".   
  
He still could not think how it happend, before the whole thing he had been actually looking forward to his detention with Granger. Being alone with her so he could insult her all he wanted to without Potter or Weasley butting in trying to play hero. During dinner he had decided that he would see how long it would take to make Granger cry, beg him to stop during detention but it had not gone as he had planned as she had stood her ground insulted him back.   
  
It had then become almost like a match to see who would walk away first neither of them giving up. He had not noticed how close they were before it was too late, her face was bright red with anger, her brown eyes sparkling. Him enraged and also shocked at her insults and torments, her last one had been the last straw with the desire to prove that he was not as predictable as she thought he had forcefully pushed her against the wall his mouth finding hers. He remembered his hands pinning hers above her head against the wall, as he explored her mouth. He remembered when he had finally realised her hands sliding his down her back while she had circled hers like a snake around his neck that was when he had come to his senses, he then had pushed himself away from her, her expression matching his own. He had showed her a side of him he should not of, a side he had been taught to keep hidden as it was a weakness. He had let her win he had been the first one who walked away, not being able to look at her any longer, scared he would not be able to keep his emotions hidden from those deep brown eyes.   
  
Oh those eyes which showed so much emotion that they almost made him want to reveal all his deepest secrets and scars but he had found his composure he had locked those doors once again putting on his hard, cold and unfeeling mask that was now apart of him he was not safe without it. 


	3. dreams and confusion

Hermione did not draw her eyes away from the paragraph she was reading in the book of Hogwarts history as the explosion went off nor did she when the loud eruption of cheering and clapping filled the common room but she did look up when the word Beer was mentioned.   
  
Seamus Finnigan stood proudly in the middle of the clapping Gryffindor students with a black face holding up proudly a glass that was now filled with what looked like beer "I told you all i would one day be able to turn any drink into beer", he then gulped some down while the cheering became louder   
  
"Drink, Drink, Drink, Drink".   
  
Hermione rolled her eyes and tried to return back to reading when the room suddenly turned silent she looked back up to see everyone staring wide eyed at Seamus who had turned a deep shade of red with smoke coming out of his ears and nose.   
  
The room broke out with laughter, Hermione sighed and stood up slamming the book shut and walking over to Seamus.   
  
"Come on lets get you to the Hospital wing".   
  
The room turned silent again when Hermione and Seamus left the common room. "Whats her problem?" Ron said standing next to harry who had still not changed out of his Quidditch robes from there morning victory.   
  
Harry shrugged still angry at Hermione for not taking a slight interest in Gryffindor's success "I dont know but she could of at least congratulated me".   
  
It was Ron's turn to shrug "You know Hermione shes probably worried about upcoming exams or something".   
  
After leaving Seamus in the care of Madam promfrey Hermione slowly headed back to the common room her arms crossed over her chest as she walked like a protective shield. Her life was becoming more and more complicated, her world was spinning and no matter how hard she tried she could not make it stand still. Malfoy was one problem but over the past few months her life was nothing but problems and they she knew they would keep coming one after the other and no matter how hard Harry or Ron would try and help her solve them in the end she would have to do it on her own, that was one of the reasons why she kept them to herself another reason was she believed Harry had enough to deal with right now without her own troubles. She still could not believe how vivid her dreams were they seemed so real that they remained lingering in her mind for days resolving to her lack of concentration in class which she was sure someone would notice soon if they already had not.   
  
She sighed raising her eyes to the ceiling as she carried on walking, the war was soon to start and everyone seemed not to have a care in the world to busy celebrating and laughing was she the only one who was scared?   
  
What she was scared most of is loosing her friends, deep down she knew not all of them would be coming out of the war standing, her dreams had told her that many times.  
  
She gulped and closed her eyes tightly as the tears tried to escape as the image of ron covered in blood, his blood, laid on the floor his eyes boreing into hers though no life shone in his. He was dead. This had been a image from one of her most recent dreams she remembered waking up crying, her whole body shaking with angst. A dream is a but a dream playing her worst fears nothing to be worried about she kept telling herself silently.   
  
Her mind then wandered back to that forbidden kiss, how warm and soft they had felt against her own how ironic was it that they belonged to Malfoy who had an heart of ice with eyes to match. She licked her lips as if expecting them to still taste of the ice prince but instead all she tasted was pumpkin juice. The whole damn situation confused her, she hated him and he hated her so what had happend to have lead them in each others arms hungrily kissing each other as if thier lives depended on it. She frowned is disgust at herself for putting her self in that situation with Malfoy out of all people especailly at a time like this when rumours about Malfoy becoming a death eater, joining the dark lord had nearly every student talking, of course there was no proof to this but Hermione would not be surprised if he was thats all she expected of him.   
  
The quicker she forgot about the kiss the better it meant nothing and never would maybe she needed the warmth and he supplied it but never again.   
  
She then noticed a figure in the shadows ahead as she walked closer she recognized the icey eyes "What do you want?" she said quietly.   
  
My heart is an hollow shell,   
  
empty, fragile, lost.  
  
In the depths of my mind,  
  
i call out for the light to guide me,   
  
i long for your arms to hold me.   
  
But as i reach out,  
  
im shrowded in shadows.  
  
The darkness surrounds me   
  
like a black cape.   
  
covering, protecting,shielding me  
  
from the cruel suffering reality i have to face 


End file.
